I haven't posted in a few days. I know. Bad, bad me! But for some reason people have been hating on cats lately. Not exactly at me, but around me. And that makes me sad. So I have been cranky and been wanting to give those people a good talking to! But that would be bad and negative and corrupt my fabulous blog with too much negativity! Which I totally don't want and have a huge feeling that you, the reader, would rather poke your eyes out with wet cat food covered dull spoons.
"So what spurred you to post now and even mention this?" you ask? Well, today I discovered why the cat potty doesn't need to be changed yet - when usually it's time to by now.
Sigh. I feel ever so slightly the need to say stinky things about the joys of pet ownership.
One or both of my boyz has been using the little bathroom mat next to the potty instead. I am trying very hard not to strangle said boyz. (Not that I could - they are looking so cute at the moment.) And I haven't caught them in the act. So, the mat is sitting in the laundry basket and the bathroom floor has been scrubbed and there is no rug on the floor.
DARN STINKIN @#$%^&* CATS!!!
O.K. Now that I have vented:
And am I mad at them? Not at all. I am worried. Because when a cat does something like this, they are usually telling you that something is wrong.
Are they sick? Are they mad about something? I have no idea. Luckily, for me - not for them, I have their annual exam scheduled for tomorrow. They get to go to the V-E-T. I'll have them inspected to make sure that they are running at full cat-pacity. Which leads me to the funny part of the post:
HOW HARD IS IT TO CATCH A CAT?
Maybe for some of you crazy cat peeps, it's easy to get your fuzzy feline into a cat carrier to schlep them to the v-e-t or wherever you may be schlepping them to. Not my boyz. It is the most traumatic event ever. I am seriously considering investing in a Kevlar full body suit.
"How hard can it be? You are bigger than they are!" said one of my friends. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!!! Once I finished laughing and dried off the hysterical tears I began to explain.
1) They know the SOUND of the cat carriers. Just accidentally bumping the carrier in the closet will send them into hiding for a few hours.
2) They have started to associate treats with the fact that they are being coerced into something. If they are scared, the sound of the treat jar or even putting a treat in front of them will not work. THEY KNOW.
3) I have 2. So if I catch one, he sounds the alarm to the other. And all is lost.
4) They are very very good at being slippery cats or finding the one place where it is almost impossible to reach them to catch them.
5) Once they are finally caught and I have tended to my wounds, they howl. HOWL. You'd think they were being tortured or were in serious pain. I can't take them on the subway or on the bus. Tried that. Wasn't pretty.
When I first got them, I had to get them into the carriers in order to bring them in to be, um, snipped. Well - I was not aware that they fully understood the ramifications of cat catching. Long story short, I literally scared the poop out of Al. It was hilarious and sad at the same time.
So my plan for tomorrow is:
1) Take the carriers out a few days ago. Check. They hid when I did and are a little jumpy around me. They know something is up!!
2) Try to get them used to treats being for anytime. So maybe they might respond to some treat action when I need to lure them out.
3) Procrastinate. I am so dreading this.
4) Set the carriers up at the correct angle to drop a cat in after I finish this post.
5) When the dreaded time comes, make sure they are both in the living room and close the doors to the bathroom and the bedroom.
6) Go for broke!! One will be caught - and you only get one shot - and the other will be on to me. So the remaining cat will probably have to be dragged out from under the couch by the nape of his neck with me feeling unbelievably guilty that I am traumatizing the poor thing.
The above is assuming all goes well. If not, and there are no posts for a few days, assume I am in the hospital recovering.
Maybe for some of you crazy cat peeps, it's easy to get your fuzzy feline into a cat carrier to schlep them to the v-e-t or wherever you may be schlepping them to. Not my boyz. It is the most traumatic event ever. I am seriously considering investing in a Kevlar full body suit."How hard can it be? You are bigger than they are!" said one of my friends. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!!! Once I finished laughing and dried off the hysterical tears I began to explain.
1) They know the SOUND of the cat carriers. Just accidentally bumping the carrier in the closet will send them into hiding for a few hours.
2) They have started to associate treats with the fact that they are being coerced into something. If they are scared, the sound of the treat jar or even putting a treat in front of them will not work. THEY KNOW.
3) I have 2. So if I catch one, he sounds the alarm to the other. And all is lost.
4) They are very very good at being slippery cats or finding the one place where it is almost impossible to reach them to catch them.
5) Once they are finally caught and I have tended to my wounds, they howl. HOWL. You'd think they were being tortured or were in serious pain. I can't take them on the subway or on the bus. Tried that. Wasn't pretty.
When I first got them, I had to get them into the carriers in order to bring them in to be, um, snipped. Well - I was not aware that they fully understood the ramifications of cat catching. Long story short, I literally scared the poop out of Al. It was hilarious and sad at the same time.
So my plan for tomorrow is:
1) Take the carriers out a few days ago. Check. They hid when I did and are a little jumpy around me. They know something is up!!
2) Try to get them used to treats being for anytime. So maybe they might respond to some treat action when I need to lure them out.
3) Procrastinate. I am so dreading this.
4) Set the carriers up at the correct angle to drop a cat in after I finish this post.
5) When the dreaded time comes, make sure they are both in the living room and close the doors to the bathroom and the bedroom.
6) Go for broke!! One will be caught - and you only get one shot - and the other will be on to me. So the remaining cat will probably have to be dragged out from under the couch by the nape of his neck with me feeling unbelievably guilty that I am traumatizing the poor thing.
The above is assuming all goes well. If not, and there are no posts for a few days, assume I am in the hospital recovering.
My kitty would meow the whole way there, as if to remind me that she was still tortured in her carrier, despite the food, water and comfy old tshirt inside. Then she would poop, and the car windows would have to be down for the rest of the trip, whether it was to the v-e-t, or moving from DC to DE, or moving from DE to NJ, or moving back to DE from NJ. I am not sure who hated the carrier more, me or her. Good luck!
ReplyDeleteTry wrapping them in a towel or bedsheet or curtain or something like that. Less bleeding on your part. And less struggling on theirs. Then place in carrier.
ReplyDeleteAh - but they know the towel trick! Can't go near them with a towel! When they were wee fuzzies someone must have used that trick!
ReplyDelete