RULE #1: YOU MUST BE OWNED BY AT LEAST 1 CAT.

"Dogs have owners, cats have STAFF!"

-Is so very very true.

Cat meows, you bring them food. (Food they have decided they approve of!) You clean their litter boxes and make sure they have fresh water. You make sure they are comfortable and entertained with expensive beds and climbing trees and toys and more toys. When they want skritchies and belly rubs, you drop everything you are doing and skritch away! They control you and you happily do their bidding. They own your butt!!!

Yes, this rule goes against the traditional rule of 3 cats = Crazy Cat Lady. I have a number of issues with this antiquated and often misused notion.

To begin with, in today's economy one has to make exceptions. Owning 3 cats = EX-PEN-SIVE!!
Litter, food, toys, treats, vet, treats, toys, beds, deluxe scratchers = $$$$$! So the 3 cat rule can be cost prohibitive.

You can be a Crazy Cat Lady with just one. How many people gush on and on about what their cat did the other day? Or how cute their cat is? Or how smart their little fuzz ball is? See - singular. 1 cat. You can be just as nutz and have only 1.

It usually doesn't stop with just one. You feel guilty when you leave your little snuggle-wumps alone. You can hear her cry through the door when you leave and it just breaks your heart. My first cat, Amy Meatball - used to cry and cry when I left to go to work. It made me feel so guilty. After she passed on, I resolved to get 2 to keep each other company. I've since discovered that many shelter require to take 2 (or more) together. When I adopted my boyz, I was told I had to take those specific 2 together. Truthfully, it was one of the best things I did. Yes, cats are solitary animals and 2 cats = more fur than 1!!! But my boyz have each other and have demonstrated that time and time again. When I step on Al's tail, Gus runs to sniff Al to make sure he is ok. When Gus accidentally rolls off the ottoman, Al runs and licks Gus' ears to make sure he is ok. Which is super cute!!!! (Did I mention how cute they are??? Especially when they curl up in a ball of cat!)

Try walking past an adorable kitten who needs a home??? Thoughts of when your 1 cat was a kitten start and you suddenly feel the gravitational pull of those cute eyes and teeny paws and tail. Before you know it, you've just adopted another cat. Oops. Like I said, 1 is just the beginning.

Yes, an experienced Crazy Cat Lady usually has three or more, but that is something to aspire to. Remember, the answer to everything is always more cats!